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my current inner state…(calling to the ‘charioteer’, about sophrosyne etc)

Thursday, May 17th, 2007 @ 2:05 pm
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Posted in  Personal Process

There is a lot am going through at the moment at a personal level, i am more or less alone in the inner battle and i have to find a way through coming on the other side and finding some balance with as much congruence as possible within myself. i am feeling very anxious that this coincides with a very demanding period at the university, where i have to ‘perform’ out there when in reality I am in a period that requires withdrawal and inner healing instead…what a conflict really…at moments like that, i seek sollace to certain scripts. What came as appropriate now is the Hindu Bhagavad Gita (Celestial Song – described as an indespensable travel guide for all who want to joureny On the Way) and more specifically the image/character of the Charioteer. In a web entry i found the following summary: “The story which the Bhagavad-Gita use is of the human hero Arjuna who sets out to command his force in battle against very familiar spirits. Due to Arjuna’s ‘friendship since childhood’ with the Christ Principle, which is portrayed as the character Krishna, Arjuna chooses him to be his charioteer in the war. The chariot symbolises the soul, Arjuna is the spirit inhabiting the body and the horses drawing the chariot symbolises the senses. The Bhagavad-Gita is one long discourse between Arjuna and the Christ of God on the topic of preparation for and waging the war against the self – and all this happens while sitting on the chariot positioned between the two opposing forces ready to engage in battle”

Earlier today, when at the library, i was reading a book by Kenneth Gergen, titled “The saturated self” (maybe one of the first post-modern texts). At some point, teh author was referring to he concept of sophrosyne, a focally important idea to my ancestors, Homeric Greeks. The author writes about it:

“as we might now appropriate the concept, it would refer to a special virtue: the harmonious blending of intense passion and perfect control. For the Greeks, sophrosyne was symbolised by the image of a charioteer, gracefully guiding and holding in check his spirited horses”

I am aware of the fact that i am feeling emotionally ‘compulsive’ at the moment due to the intensity of grief I am experiencing due to certain losses in my life that coincide alltogether with powerful incidents. I am trying to ‘hold’ myself and see it all as part of the journey…the research journey is not separate from the personal one since who I am at each moment has a certain impact on whatever I am doing and on my points of view….the journey is painful at times and feel totally lost…i need patience and self-discipline and keep reassuring myself…thanks you F.

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