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Observing some resistance…

Tuesday, July 31st, 2007 @ 3:03 pm
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Posted in  Personal Process

It is about a week that i am back ‘home’ and i observe some resistance around monitoring my inner process, both online in this blog or even off-line. I am aware of the fact that i feel in limbo, a lot of things ar under the magnitude lens and make me feel like the fish out of the water in this re-entry to my ‘home culture’, simply because it often feels as if i dont fit and i lose my sense of ‘freedom’ in a number of ways. I am reminded of Storti’s book (“the art of coming home”) where he was writing how ‘normal’ such feelings are for the sojourner…and i see that i do not make a lot of sense, even to those who used to be ‘familiar’ people, like for example my family etc. And this is of course because when one leaves home, it’s not only him or her that change but those who stay change as well…and the whole dynamic of the relationship changes inevitably. My concern is that i am feeling vulnerable…on the other hand, the harshness of becoming ‘homeless’ psychologically speaking is leading me to a point that i can be more tolerant and resilient towards uncertainty and liminal states of being…it is hard but it is part of the process of becoming more autonomous as well…will try to be kind toward myself and let everything sink in and take its course. I shall not forget the process of ‘regression’ as well when an adult returns to their family home…but not get ‘stuck’ in it either

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